Well and then I wanted to watch a porn in peace and masturbate. Actually….

Because first the dumb rescue squad made tatütata so loud that I had to turn the stereo to three thousand decibels to not be constantly reminded that the old guizer in front of my door is stroking on the floor. He should collapse somewhere else – otherwise everyone will say again I am to blame because someone rocks too hard… Like human junk food they treat me – everyone wants me, even if everyone says I am toxic.

Like gluten with tits and pussy.

Apart from that, I am worried because I can only call a single smoke detector my own ( functional) – I’m afraid of suffocating from smoke poisoning while jerking off.

Yeah. Seriously.

Carbon monoxide as death – is like pregnancy as a cause for the wedding.

Domesticated outlet for testosterone vegan.

Maja Siffredi

Maja Siffredi

In real life, the Styrian-born Austrian girl has a different name. Her real name is not Maja Siffredi. She writes erotic stories, which seem to be best described as "porn satire." Sometimes, that produces pearls of sweat on the foreheads of child protection Agents. After numerous stopovers at home and abroad, where the trained chef has also worked as a bartender and model, she now lives and writes in Carinthia, Austria. Her first publication "Frau mit Vogel sucht Mann mit Käfig" (Women with a bird is looking for a man with birth cage) was published in spring 2017, followed by "Fickfisch" (Fuck - Fish) in autumn 2018. In between, a short story was also published in the German Erotic Magazine "Séparée," as well as in the anthology "Wohin geht die Reise." (Where does the Journey lead you to"). She has always written first for the drawer, then for her own blog "majasdirtylaundry.com" from which the idea for the first book was born.

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