The Jump off the Bridge – The Discussion

Dr. Gustavo Alfonso Quintana, November, 3rd 2018

Dear Thomas Matterne,

I hereby present you my personal assessment of what happened in a situation, where it is impossible to give life back.

Faced with such impossibility, one can only analyze, but not judge the decisions of the author. I believe, that in some way the life-survival- instincts of the two sons was violated as they had been involuntarily running to their unavoidable end…!

We who are alive will likely frown upon a father’s will to include his children in an attempt of suicide. Maybe it was the result of a social crisis, or maybe a concoction of conflicts connected to the mother which led him to this extended suicide. Perhaps it was a protest and cry for the state of society in general…!

We, the ones alive who know the facts, suffer and are filled with regret…! This is the offspring of our sensibility…!

Yet we opt to choose, and we love living this way…!

Thomas Matterne, November, 4th 2018

Dear Doktor Quintana,

I could easily carve my position into stone by arguing on the basis of my religious conviction. I could simply say that in god’s eyes humans are not entitled to end their own lifes. That would be too easy though and surely not beneficial to a discussion, so let‘s keep god, as we may say, out of it.

I‘m sure you have witnessed a lot of agony. I will grant you that you‘ve ended suffering with good intent and not with levity. The human being is an emphatic being, and compassion is an essential reason for us human beings, to stand where we are right now. Seeing another human suffer, may it be physical or emotional pain, is one of the things we humans can barely endure, and not few people close their eyes and run away from the sight of agony, which cannot be relieved. You, Doctor, are no such man.

Though upon reading the lines of your dispatch, where you relativize the death of two innocent children, I ‘m shocked to the core.

Beyond the religious argument, I accept not to judge this Father. In fact, I can merely speculate about his motives and I only know too well, that someone ‘s life doesn‘t get better by simply telling him „tomorrow the sun will shine again “. Regarding those two kids though I‘m not willing to accept your comments like that, hoping and holding in your favor, that I‘ve misinterpreted your words.

For me to believe, „that in a certain way the survival instinct of those two sons was violated“, and those two boys „may have involuntarily run into the inevitable end“, is an assumption quite simply unworthy of a man, who due to his profession has sworn to help people.

It‘s the first responsibility and honor of parents to care for their children, and assist them on their way through life, which undoubtedly is hard and unfair.

Preserving the life of our children is a cultural merit, which is not as old as we might think. Yet in ancient times, fathers had the right to literally leave their newborn child brought to them after birth, laying behind on the floor. We‘ve overcome this animalistic cruelty. If for example a Kangaroo‘s life is in utmost danger, it drops it’s not fully developed child from his bag, and lets it die.

The evolutionary logic behind this is, that a dead child and a living mother are worth more, than a dead child and a dead mother.

Human compassion has outgrown this law of nature though, to such point, that not few people would even be willing to sacrifice their own lives, to save entirely foreign children.

Someone committing suicide and dragging kids entrusted to him, into death with him, is a murderer. We may allow him alleviating circumstances due to his desperate situation, though it doesn‘t change what he‘s done.

We live in a society which forgot to endure suffering. As soon as our old ones fall ill with dementia and become so sick, they cannot even leave their beds, we move them to hospitals or retirement homes. It doesn‘t matter, as long as we don‘t have to put up with their suffering anymore. We also make sure our kids don‘t get to experience this kind of suffering, so we hide it especially from them. That way our society becomes more and more incapable of enduring suffering, or even simply witnessing it, while those suffering often times let it happen without resistance, and may even be a driving force behind it, because they don‘t want to become a burden for their children. In our western society, as is well-known, we have forgotten that one day our kids will be the ones, that have to care for their parents. The strong one helps the weak one and as the strong one becomes weak himself, he deserves help as well.

Often the argument compassion is used, when talking about assisted suicide. I think it‘s a perversion of the word compassion, because assisting someone with suicide, is the opposite of sharing compassion with the affected. It‘s the easy way without any pressure, the way of a society whose biggest ambition is living a good life, and the sight of agony naturally doesn‘t contribute to a better life. We are no longer walking this final path in unity, which understandably makes us want to cut it short, am I right? I have respect for those who until the end endure their suffering, as they‘ve enjoyed their happiness in life. Suffering, pain and death are part of life and if we start eliminating suffering, we start eliminating the mistakes the next day. Can‘t the life of people with disabilities simply be suffering? Must we redeem a person born deaf and blind? What value does his life hold, except that he prevents others from finding their personal luck. But doesn‘t every life hold value, simply because it‘s life?

Taking someone’s lives, like this father here mentioned in this report, is wrong. But what value does the word „wrong“ hold in a society that doesn‘t want to listen to any more absolute truths, but rather relativizes the murder on two innocent kids with alleviating circumstances, just to feel a little bit better in the end.

I wrote that I‘m not entitled to condemn the father‘s motives for his own suicide, but you, because of your work in the field of assisted suicide, are not even entitled to speculate about the circumstances of the kids‘ deaths and whether their death was only „maybe involuntarily“.

This relativism may be the result of your daily confrontation with the topic, but is still wrong, and given the fact that you grant yourself the power to decide over life and death, you carry a dangerous seed in your soul.

Thomas Matterne